Hey you! It’s me, checking in from my first classic roller ski of the year. All things considered, it went really well. No falls, no bruises, only had to do one all-out speed as I got chased by a dog. But wouldn’t you rather read the play-by-play of my thoughts as I start up training again? Here’s how it went down.
*walk out the door. clip into roller skis. buckle helmet. run back inside because I forgot my sunglasses.*
1. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE! I looooooove my job!
2. Am I wearing enough neon? Lemmecheck….neon Marwe skis, hot pink Fast and Female shirt, bright yellow One Way poles, neon glasses and Rudy Project helmet…yep, everything I own is designed to stop traffic!
3. It’s a good thing my friends love me, because I look pretty dorky right now. Am I always this un-coordinated every spring? Argh, oops, GAH! Poles go on the OUTSIDE of the skis! Why are these things so short? Where are the tracks? How do I keep them straight?!? And why is classic skiing so hard?
4. Hey, what side of the road am I supposed to ski on, anyways? Am I considered a vehicle? I’m at least as fast as a smart car.
5. Uh oh. Oooooooooo no. I forgot about this downhill. I’m so not ready for this. These things don’t have brakes! Why didn’t I practice ditch-diving earlier?
6. I think I’ve got the hang of this downhill now. Oh, yeah, buddy! Almost 30mph on this hill…OHMYGOD THERE’S A TURKEY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! MOOOOOOOOOOVE, TURKEY, MOOOOOOOOOVE!…whew…that…was….that was a really close one! We almost had Thanksgiving dinner in May. I am so not telling the coaches about this. But I am telling my Dad. He’ll be pretty psyched.
7. I think I need bigger triceps to cope with all this pavement pounding. Oh, muscles, wherefore art thou?
8. I swear, if one more helmet-less motorbike rider buzzes me, I’ll whack him with my ski pole. Hold on a second…am I actually getting road rage on roller skis? Calm down, cowgirl.
9. YEAH! Look at me, my bad self! I just kicked up EVERY hill and didn’t slip ONCE! No herringbone, baby!
Oh, wait, that’s because I have ratchets now? Uh, soooo…..am I still allowed to be proud of kicking up every hill, or what?
10. Cute dog! Uh, why is it still running towards me? And barking? I don’t like this. Run away! Run away!
11. Why am I having problems with animals today?
12. Oh wow, this smooth pavement is amazing. I love it. I am actually obsessing over how new this road is.
13. Ok, this is really hard work, but it’s also really fun. I’m really getting into seeing how fast I can tuck the downhills!
14. My first friendly, supportive car honk of the year! At least…I think it was friendly. People are so nice!
15. That flew by! Am I really done already? This is going to be a great summer.